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How the NYC MTA Taught Me To Be Courteous

Today, I learned numerous valuable lessons that I have been lacking my whole life. No, these lessons did not come from my hardworking, middle class parents who raised me in a Catholic household. And no, it wasn't anything I learned from my Pace University courses taken to earn my BBA and MBA degrees. These lessons were taught to me by the enlightened NYC Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA).

Let me pass along to all of you some of the important teachings from the MTA's new Courtesy Counts ads that are plastered all over the subway.



Offer your seat to elderly, disabled, and pregnant people - I was always under the assumption that the 80 year old lady with a cane could easily handle standing during the sharp turns on the 5 train. And a woman in her 9th month of pregnancy clearly doesn't have any feet or back pains. 

Take youf litter with you - But the pink haired girl with her Gore 2000 pinned satchel left her empty Venti Starbucks cup behind. Why would such an eco-friendly person do such a thing? Thank goodness for the new signs so people can understand what those receptacles on the platforms are for.

Poles are for safety, not for dancing - Hollywood claims otherwise.

Stand aside to let others off the train first - While it does seem to be a more efficient way to board the train, bumrushing and elbowing fellow passengers is my gut instinct.

It's a subway, not a dining car - My hopes of having a bite on the F train with Cary Grant or Bing Crosby are officially ruined.

Keep the sound down - I thought the whole point of my Beats was to amp up the volume so that I can make an appointment with the hearing specialist covered under my Obamacare insurance.

Stop the Manspreading - I have no comment on that one, but just had to include it.

Thank goodness for the MTA. Without their new ad campaign, we would continue to live in a chaotic society where parents and common sense have no bearings on our behavior.
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Behind Enemy Lines is a national Award-Winning radio show / podcast broadcasting live out of the belly of the Democratic beast - "The People's Republic of" New York City that airs on multiple radio stations as part of the Talk America Radio Network! The show is also available on multiple networks across the internet, with more being added regularly.