Wednesday, October 8, 2014

You're Doing It Wrong: BEL's "Pro Tips" To Being A Hater

"ERMAHGERD, Y'ALL!  Did you hear what he JUST SAID?!?!?
They're EEEEEVEEEEEEL!"
Those of you who know me know that I'm, for the most part, a "live and let live" kinda guy.  You live your life the way you see fit so long as that fits within societal norms, and I'll do the same.  Those of you that know me also know that I don't suffer fools, and when attacked, will come back with snark.

And lots of it.

So when I saw the above comment on the Twitters, I first wondered what a "mmvmnt" was.  But after snapping out of that funk, I thought that this would be a good opportunity to let loose the sarcasm in a utilitarian way - by setting some basic - and simple - guidelines  for the haters to properly and effectively hate on me, the BEL crew and this show.

Pro Tip No. 1:  "Embrace the Hate"

First off, if you wanna hate on me or this show, do it up front.  Here's how:

-  Tag me (@GBerardelli), Russ (@RussGallo) or the show (@BEL_Radio) on the Twitters;


Don't be so passive-aggressive!  If you're hatin' on us enough, share it the right way.  What good is being a hater if we can't find out that you're a hater?!?

Besides, hatin' behind our backs? That's just plain cowardly.  Confront us.  Tell us off to our faces.  Send us your hate-filled memes that from the looks of it obviously took the the better part of your day to create. 

Point being, own your hate.

Pro Tip No. 2:  Share Your Hate With Everyone You Know - We Like That!



Please don't just limit your hate to us - tell the world!  If we got under your skin so damn much that you took to social media to tell  everyone, then by Odin's Raven, tell EVERYONE!  Drive your friends to find out what the hate is all about!  Send them to our Show Archives!  Drag them to our blog.  Do whatever you can.

Thanks for the free promotion!  Either we'll win 'em over, or they'll keep on hating.  No matter the outcome,  we win.

Would Captain Jack Sparrow Lie?
Pro Tip No. 3:  Recognize That We're Not The Problem - You Are.

I know that sounded harsh, kiddo.  But it's not me saying it - it's science.  

According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people with a positive dispositional attitude have a strong tendency to like things, whereas people with a negative dispositional attitude have a strong tendency to dislike things,  Don't believe me?  Check out "Attitudes without objects: Evidence for a dispositional attitude, its measurement, and its consequences,"  written by Justin Hepler, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and Dolores AlbarracĂ­n, Ph.D. of the Martin Fishbein Chair of Communication and Professor of Psychology at Penn.
"The dispositional attitude construct represents a new perspective in which attitudes are not simply a function of the properties of the stimuli under consideration, but are also a function of the properties of the evaluator."
*** 
"Some people may simply be more prone to focusing on positive features and others on negative features," Hepler said. 
Translation:  It's not us, it's you.  Stop being a sad panda.  Do like the song says - ya gotta accent-u-ate the positive, elim-in-ate the negative.  The first step is acknowledging your problem, and we are all here to help you realize that.

***

So there you go.  Hope that helped.  Or not, either way, you read all of it, didn't 'cha?

Oh, and as for the semi-serious response to this particular hater: 

Dear Hater:  

The conservative movement, or as you like to refer to it, the "Conserv mmvmnt", is distinct and different than the Judeo-Christian value system.  One need not be a Christian to be a conservative, and one need not necessarily be a conservative to be Christian.  That's kind of why conservatives come in so many different flavors - libertarians, fiscal conservatives, social conservatives, hawks, doves.  One big happy family, so long as we all "live and let live" and respect each other's fundamental rights, like freedom of speech, freedom of religion and the like. 

So why, as a self-identifying conservative are you hating on my free exercise of speech?  Because it offended your beliefs?  What kind of self-identifying conservative does that?  Answer: a liberal.  

It's called freedom of speech, not freedom from speech, and while I am not infringing upon your right to hate on me, I am sure as heck-fire gonna call you out on your baseless accusation that the content of my free speech is detrimental to the "mmvmnt".  

Speech like this IS the "mmvmnt" - the idea from time immemorial that though I disagree with what you say, I will fight to the death for your right to say it.  

What is not the "mmvmnt" is the narrow-mindedness you put on display. 

As a conservative, I am infuriated by your liberal-like mindset of "Open your mind and think just like me." As a Roman Catholic, I am saddened by your sanctimonious, persecutorial tone. 

Matthew 7:1.

XOXO

Gene

3 comments:

  1. I'm jealous. Gene always gets all the hate. Lol.

    Maybe this will help ;-)

    http://www.behindenemylinesradio.us/2014/10/waar-plan-for-victory-in-2014-2016.html?m=1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously? You just tried to scoop my heat? LOL

      Delete
  2. Hatin' is just grimey! Lmao

    ReplyDelete

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